Pantheress of Wrenches
by chocolatexloverx16
Summary: What happens when Ed gets his hands on wrenches? This can't turn out well for anybody. Humor with a touch of crack. Enjoy! Rated T for Targets.


_**A/N**__: Oh dear lord, what am I doing? I haven't written anything in YEARS. Maybe that's an exaggeration, but it's been entirely too long. I miss this ;-;_

_**Warnings**__: Since there's always warnings, let's see... randomness, OOCness, scarring, immaturity, very slight crack, possible time skips, etc._

_**Disclaimer**__: I do not own a darn thing. Except my shiny new laptop. Teehee._

_xxx_

"Hey Al," Winry peeked around the doorframe, "have you seen Ed lately?"

Al blinked up at her. "No, I haven't. Why?"

"Well, I noticed that my wrenches were missing, and I think he took them. So, I need to find him. Could you help me look for him? Please Al?"

"… Ok Winry. Let's start outside. Do you want to split up?"

"Yeah, sure, I'll look in the backyard. You take the front."

xxx

"Find anything?" Winry asked dejectedly. "Because I didn't."

Al shook his head. "Maybe he went to your house?"

She shrugged. "He wasn't there when I came over, but it's worth a try. Let's go."

"Ok." He quickened his pace, yelling, "Hey mom! Going to Winry's! Be back later!" over his shoulder.

Trisha smiled from the front yard. "Ok Alphonse! Make sure you're back in time for stew tonight!"

"I will mom!" Al grinned.

Winry giggled next to Al. "Maybe I'll come over too. Stew sounds good!"

"You should, it's the best!"

xxx

They had slowed down to a slight jog when they approached Winry's house. Winry was just about to open the front door when she heard a clang. "What was that!?"

"I don't know, I'll go check it out." Al ran around the house, and abruptly stopped. He stood there, mouth agape. After a minute, he recovered enough to speak. "Uh... brother? What are you doing?"

Edward Elric indeed was in the Rockbells' backyard. But he was not alone. Granny and Den were with him.

And he was tossing wrenches around like nobody's business.

Al ducked just in time, as one was flying right at him. "ED! YOU ALMOST JUST HIT ME!"

Ed jumped, surprised to see his brother. "Al? What are you doing here?"

"Don't change the subject! But for your information, Winry was looking for you!" Al crossed his arms. "Which reminds me... WINRY!"

"Please don't-"

"Yes Al!?"

"BACK HERE, I FOUND HIM!"

"I'll be right out!"

Ed deflated at his brother's smug expression. He was caught. And worst of all, Winry now knew as well. He should have known better than to take her wrenches, but damn it all, he wanted to know what the appeal was! Why did she throw them around all the time? If only the old bat didn't know he took them, he'd be off the hook right now! But no, of course she saw him smuggle the tools under his shirt. Then she made him bring them outside and set up a target. Pinako took a few wrenches and threw them at the target. He watched wordlessly as she hit it dead-on.

_And then_ she challenged him to do the same. Of course he accepted her so-called 'challenge'. He'd show her!

Boy, was he wrong. He tried dozens of times to hit the target, even standing closer than Pinako had. Still he missed. Every single shot. It was frustrating, to say the least.

So he threw one in his anger. Ed didn't think his innocent little brother would almost be on the receiving end of it.

"S-sorry Al. I didn't mean to throw it at you. I didn't know you were _there_."

"Save it, brother. I'm not the one you need to apologize to." Al motioned towards Winry. "She is."

Ed gulped. He saw the horrified look on her face, which quickly turned to anger. "Winry, I-"

"Why, Ed? Why would you take my wrenches? You know how much I need them to build!"

He looked away in shame. "I know. I'm sorry. I just... I just wanted to know what it felt like from your point of view."

She blinked. "My point of view?"

Granny Pinako cackled at this, reminding the youngsters-only eight and nine years old-that she was present to the whole conversation. "It's almost dinnertime. You boys should go home, before your mother gets worried. Winry, you go on ahead and eat with them tonight. The wrenches will be back on the workbench before you can say 'Pantheress of Resembool'." She grinned. "Run along now. Enjoy your stew."

During the walk to the Elrics' home, Al asked the question on everyone's minds. "What's a Pantheress of Resembool?"

xxx

"Now that we know, I really wish we weren't so curious about what the whole Pantheress thing was about." Al remarked to his brother, the elder now eighteen.

"Al," Ed raised an eyebrow, "we've known for years now."

"Yeah, but we didn't really have the time to dwell on it, you know. We were pretty busy the last several years. And besides, I just remembered the time you stole Winry's wrenches. Remember that day?"

"I try not to."

"I only bring it up because granny first said that phrase then. And we were all too young to know what it was."

"We were lucky not to know." Ed shivered. "I think she just wanted to mess with our heads. And she succeeded."

Al nodded in total agreement. "She always does."

Ed slowly pulled an object out of his pocket. To his brother's horror, it was a wrench.

"ED! Where'd you get that? Winry's going to kill you!"

"It's only one, I figure she won't miss it," Ed snickered mischievously at his little brother. "Besides, something else from that day still bothers me."

"What's that?"

"I couldn't throw the wrench."

"I'd say you were throwing it quite well. As I recall, you almost hit me."

"And I apologized for that!" Ed glared lightly at the accusation. "You were fine!" He composed himself. "Anyway, I didn't do that day what I set out to do, so I figure, why not try it now?"

Al watched as Ed set up a stationary target with Roy Mustang's face on it. "Why-"

"IT'S FOR MOTIVATION, OK?" Edward wound his throwing arm up, and-

BAM!

Indeed, the target was hit on the very first try. But as Al saw, Ed was on the ground, wrench clenched in his hand. So who threw it? Al sighed. Who else? "Hi Winry. Nice shot."

"Thanks! I've had years of practice. And you should tell Ed that it's all in the wrist!"

"I'll keep that in mind when and if he wakes up."

Winry waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, he'll be fine. He's been through worse. Besides, I let him off easy. Edward stole one of _my_ wrenches. He knows better."

Ed came to. "Winry... sorry... wanted to... know why... always throwing... damn wrenches..."

"Brother says he's sorry about taking the wrench," Al translated. "Oh, and he wants to know why you started throwing them in the first place. I'm curious too."

"Oh, right. That would be granny! She taught me everything I know, including wrench throwing. You didn't think it was by accident or something did you? She wanted to pass her talent along to me. So really I'm just honoring my granny's tradition whenever I throw it. How do you think she became known as the 'Pantheress of Resembool'?"

"But we heard it was becau-"

"Nope! No way am I believing that nasty rumor! It's because of her deadly wrench throws. No one messed with her for that reason!" She glared intensely at the brothers. "And that is why you shouldn't mess with me!"

She threw another wrench at them. Then she remembered how much she loves these two men, and smiles.

"My idiots."

xxx

_**A/N**__: *cries* This story doesn't want to stop. I want it to stop but it puts up a fight. Also, it wasn't as cracky as I thought it'd be D: _

_I hope it wasn't too bad, I'm real rusty._

_Peace and love!_

_chocolatexloverx16_


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